so i binged last night.
not gonna lie, i did. and i’m okay with it. i’ve made it over 2.5 months without doing it so obviosuly i’ve made a huge progress. i was just really wanting a lot of dessert last night because we had leftover stuff from our fourth of july party. and i was just like…eh fuck it and ate lots of delicious treats plus a half a sleeve of crackers. and yeah, i felt sick last night and this morning but it wasn’t nearly as bad as i used to feel.
i looked at what i did in comparison to how someone drinks once in a while. only i used food. so while i had fun doing it at the time, i felt kinda shitty the next day (similar to a hangover). i’m not regretting it though because i didn’t do anything bad, such as eating to compensate for lonliness or to get back at someone (similar to being a bitch while drunk). this was also a once in a while type thing (similar to someone who is a social drinker). while some people drink to have a good time, i eat.
so everything’s cool. and i learned a little something for my benefit. i only really binged on sweets last night. so what does that mean? that i’ve been hungry for them…and i need to allow myself to have more of them when i’m really craving them. yay!
i’m not counting this as a fall. it’s actually a gain. i’m not restricting or overexercizing to compensate and i still feel good about my body. i woke up this morning the same size i have been for the past 2.5 months and one day of bad eating won’t change that. being able to look at this in a logical way shows that i’ve improved quite a bit. and i am going to continue improving until total recovery. :)